I should have screamed,
when I saw your face
Cold, unflinching, blank from irrecognition
Your eyes red like burning coal
‘high’ from the drug you just took
I should have screamed,
I should have screamed.
Yet my heart warmed
and my eyes watered
as I welcomed you into my home.
I should have known
not to expect a homely hug
from you anymore…
Yet I robotically moved into your space,
only to be greeted with a hand on my neck.
I should have screamed then.
Yet, I smiled as I tried to calm you down,
to dampen that blinding rage
that seemed to have no end.
To your question I was not responsive
For I had not a penny
for your next dose.
I should have screamed
when you pocketed your hand
and removed a pocketknife.
As,my excitement turned
to fear and shock
I stood frozen,
unbelieving.
I should have screamed,
when you first struck into my abdomen.
Insane pain bolted through my body
as you struck repeatedly like a mad man,then left me on my floor to bleed.
I should have screamed,
when you ramaged through my apartment,
grabbing what you could
leaving me forgotten
as if I did not exist.
I should have screamed then.
Yet, it all seemed like an illusion,
a nightmare that was to pass.
So, I took it silently:
the pain, the fear, the shock.
That night,
you paralysed me
and I became silent to the world.
People come and go
hoping I would speak again
though it’s too late
cause I know
I should have screamed,
Dearest husband,
I should have screamed then.