The Young & The Restless
Recently, there’s been this hashtag going around in most of the social media sites we have; #ifikiewazazi. Being my curious self, I went in and looked them up and…?…Let’s just say it has a tendency to leave question marks on the viewers and on the level of trust the personas have of their friends.
Something like this is a contour of mixed feelings for most. On one hand, one might argue that these actions are the reality of what some of our children are doing outside their parents’ supervision. On the other hand, exposure of such illicit images of people isn’t the right action to be taken especially because the internet isn’t something you can just get rid of.
Naturally for me, this was an incredibly shocking discovery because I hadn’t heard of this movement before this request. More so, it was one of those things where you know what to expect but when you come across it, still surprises the living innocence out of you.
So I went on to research for what transpired to be the most satisfying answer I’ve come across; partly because it is addressed in the Noble Qur’an in only one place in the entire book and, the other because it all boils down to the beautiful grease oiling the social mechanism of Humans: Psychology.
Allah SWT says:
لَّا يُحِبُّ اللَّهُ الْجَهْرَ بِالسُّوٓءِ مِنَ الْقَوْلِ إِلَّا مَنْ ظُلِمَ ۚ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ سَمِيعًا عَلِيمًا
“Allah does not like the public mention of evil except by one who has been wronged. And ever is Allah Hearing and Knowing.”
(QS. An-Nisaa 4: Verse 148)
This verse is so simply put and elaborate on what the action to take is. See, anyone who commits a sin such as these shameful ones, the person is to be dealt with according to the prescribed rulings by a small select group of people. That sin is however not in anyway supposed to be propagated amongst the public EXCEPT when there is an oppressed party involved.
The psychological aspect of such a routine is that, no ideas, speculations or inspirations will arise because the “how” of the sin is not expressed unlike in such a case.
Another instance is of the legendary and ancient story of Habil and Qabil, 2 of Nabii Adam’s sons, whereby Qabil killed Habil out of jealousy. The amazing part of this narrative is that, no where, not once, ever, is it mentioned “how” Qabil killed Habil. We just know he did it and burying was introduced to the earth after. Such a classical and intricate wisdom Allah subhanahu wataala shows.
This is also why famous movies like The Heat, all the Dhooms, Catch Me if You Can and others aren’t encouraged in the light of Islam…well practically most of the movies these days but you get my point. These flicks show highly subtle and intelligent ways of stealing and manipulation and all them sneaky sneaky methods. No wonder banks in India and here in Kenya have undergone underground heists; literal digging of a tunnel to the underside of the bank’s vault and stealing the mulla. Kenya’s heist dismantled though because of an attention-driven girlfriend of course. Welcome home ?
So in such a case, the appropriate action is to take the images to the parents, especially the father or male guardian, only after the child has refused to leave those ways. If it doesn’t bear fruits after this, then you have done your part in trying to address this issue.
Everyone has to understand that putting up pictures of someone in the net for everyone to see is one of the most disgracing, shameful and mentally disorienting thing to that person. Because not only have you publicly shamed them to be scared forever with that experience, but also punished their “foolish and young” mistakes in a way it can never be undone. When they are all grown up and maybe even regret what they did, anyone who just happens to come across such a picture, imagine the shock, the shame and the possibility of destroying all the years of hard work they put in reforming. It’s basically a nightmare that comes back to life after they thought they killed it. #horror_movie reference…allowed?
I’ll leave you with a story of a Muslim couple who had just got married and the husband was excited and all of what a gem he had landed; gaming status: hellohaa.
One day as they were taking a romantic stroll, the husband ran into an old friend he hadn’t seen since college. The friend wasn’t Muslim though, and he greeted his wife like he knew her. She replied likewise. She then excused herself to pick up the ice cream they wanted just across the street and left her hubby to catch up with the friend.
As with men always, he “humbly” explained how he married her and how happy they were. The friend was quiet for a while and then told him of how he knew her. He explained that she used to sleep around during her college years (also referred to us being a slut) and he had been one of her “sleeping buddies”.
Now, you can imagine the shock this hubby got from this, given how proud he was of marrying her before. He didn’t say a word after she came back and when they got home, (after a lot of concern from his wife) he finally told her how disgusted he was to find this news out from his old college friend; instead of her. He felt cheated.
It created a huge rift between them and the husband just couldn’t wrap his head around the thought of her wife doing such an act. They separated. The wife went back to her mum’s place and she would cry and depress over the matter. The husband was somehow still in shock ( he must have loved her maan ?).
Time went by and before the 3 months of the 3rd Talaq ( separation) ended, the husband went to see his wife one evening. As usual, the mom was furious with this piece of a man for what he said to her daughter and such, even claimed that she wasn’t home lol (still can’t accurately recall if she had a mwiko with her or not ?)
The daughter intervened before he was sent away and offered to hear out his husband one last time. The husband explained to her how this issue shocked him and rattled his feelings for her in a negative way.
She understood his point and then explained hers; what she did was in her college years, but now she is a practicing Muslim and she made Touba, repented to Allah. And that it is not her obligation to tell his husband of her past sins because she wrong her Creator, and she repented to Him. And now that is the past, and no matter what she’d do, she could never get rid of history. So he shouldn’t live in the past because the present was their life and the future their legacy.
The husband finally got back to normal and apologized for judging her for a mistake that wasn’t part of her life now, and for making her go through the shame and pain of the experience once more. They got back together and lived thereafter what was willed for them by Allah subhanahu wataala.
So here’s a head scratcher for you. What do you think would have happened to that couple if there was a #ifikiewazazi tag on her past?
Personally, I think she’d be finalizing her eddah because the hubby’s cardiac would have been arrested. But maybe that’s just me…
Make sense much?
